Shame, Storytelling, and the Power of Resilience
I’ve been sitting with a big realization lately—one that I think many of us share but don’t always name.
When I started writing picture books back in 2022, my focus was clear: I wanted to help kids build emotional intelligence skills. As someone who practices self-awareness and reflection daily, inspiration has never been the problem. What I didn’t expect, though, was how vulnerable it would feel to put my work into the world.
The writing itself? Challenging, yes—but deeply fulfilling. The publishing process? Humbling and eye-opening. But promoting my books? Asking people to follow a Kickstarter, buy a copy, or share my work? That’s where I hit a wall. For the longest time, I just thought it felt icky.
Then, one morning, while listening to Dr. Brené Brown’s research on shame, something clicked. It wasn’t “icky” I was feeling. It was shame.
Naming Shame for What It Is
Shame is universal—we all feel it. As Brené Brown’s groundbreaking work has shown, shame thrives in silence, secrecy, and judgment. It convinces us that we’re not enough, that we don’t deserve love, belonging, or success. For me, shame sounded like this:
My books should sell themselves. If I have to ask, I must not be good enough.
If I need help, I must be weak.
If I promote myself, I must be selfish.
Maybe you’ve had your own version of these thoughts. Maybe shame whispers to you when you go for a promotion, share your creative work, or even ask for support from loved ones. Recognizing and naming shame is the first step toward building shame resilience.
The Resilience Factor
Here’s what I also realized that morning: despite the shame, I haven’t quit. I’ve wanted to—many times. I’ve doubted my worth, questioned the impact of my writing, and compared myself to others. And still, I’ve kept going.
That, I’ve learned, is what Brené Brown calls shame resilience. It’s not about erasing shame—it’s about recognizing it, naming it, and moving forward anyway. It’s reminding ourselves:
Our worth is not up for debate.
Asking for support is not weakness—it’s connection.
Our voices, our work, our stories matter.
And for me, it’s remembering: I may not change the whole world with my books, but I might just change one child’s world.
Why This Matters
We all face moments when shame tries to silence us. But growth doesn’t happen in silence—it happens when we lean into discomfort, get curious about our emotions, and take one step forward at a time.
Writing children’s books has forced me to practice what I preach: to name my emotions, to reflect on them, and to keep moving with compassion for myself. And honestly? That’s the same journey I want my readers—kids and adults alike—to feel invited into.
So here’s my encouragement for you: the next time shame creeps in, pause and name it. Ask yourself where it’s coming from. Remind yourself that you are not alone in this feeling. And then take one small step forward anyway.
Because resilience isn’t about being fearless. It’s about feeling the fear—or shame—and choosing to keep going.
✨ If this post resonates with you, I’d love for you to stick around. You can:
Subscribe to my newsletter for more reflections on emotional intelligence, resilience, and parenting.
Explore my Penny Panda picture books, designed to help kids (and their grown-ups) practice emotional intelligence in everyday life.
Or simply share this post with someone who might need a reminder that shame is human—and resilience is possible.
Together, step by step, we can build a little more courage, compassion, and connection. 💛
